As some of you had noticed Hiccup Medicine disappeared for a bit. Well it's back, but for archive purposes only. I figured my 2008 and my 36 year old crisis was documented on a blog for a reason and it shouldn't disappear forever, but it's time for me to shift my focus.
I have a new blog now, My Life of What Ifs. I would appreciate it if you would continue to visit me there. Tell your friends. And thank you for your year of support here, it means everything to me.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Addiction
Have you even had an addiction? Not to a substance like alcohol, illegal substances, or food, but another kind of addiction. One that might not be physically harmful, but mentally? One that you knew if you could just give it up things would be easier, life would be easier. But deep down inside you knew you were never going to give it up?
Just asking.
Just asking.
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Inspiration
My original plan for this post was to share my love of lyrics. I go through spurts where I am so tuned in to lyrics in songs that I don't notice the music itself, and lately I've been going through a major spurt :)
I went to my bookcase to pull out the overflowing notebook of lyrics that I have been keeping since 1985. Yes, back before you could get the lyrics with every album purchase. I did it the old fashioned way. Tape recorder, pause button, pen and paper. Line by line.
But next to the lyric binder there was another binder. A binder I thought had been inadvertently disposed of during an episode of nesting. But no, this was my Holy Grail. At least as much as someone looking to launch (or re-launch) a writing career can have a Holy Grail. This blue binder is from the creative writing class I took in community college. Not only does it have everything I wrote in that class, it has many short stories, poems, movie outlines and tv scripts that I wrote throughout my teenage years, as well as a few very enlightening "notes to self".
I could have cried with joy at finding this material. I've been pouring through it page by page. What an awesome young person I was ;) There are movie posters that I drew for movies I was going to star in with Kirk Cameron. There are listings for who I was competing against for the Emmy award. There are poems about love that will never be, and poems that questioned the love I was in.
My favorite piece in the Holy Grail is a poem I had completely forgotten. One that I wrote as I embarked on a big change in my life. It could really apply to many situations in life, but it's probably obvious what it's about. The odd part is that it could apply to many things in my life right now just as well as it did in 1992. I'm just trying to figure out if that's a good sign or a bad one. It has no title but I want to share it with you. I hope you enjoy it.
Eyes of Blue
Eyes of Green
Me? I'm sitting
somewhere between
One for comfort
One for change
Once I felt with my heart
now I feel strange
Or is there no feeling?
No feeling at all?
When I am hurting
which one do I call?
Is isolation the answer?
It's lonely behind a wall
But alone I will be safe
and less likely to fall
Now I remain neutral
Trying not to pursuade either way
Will I lose both comfort and change?
Will I lose my sanity along the way?
I went to my bookcase to pull out the overflowing notebook of lyrics that I have been keeping since 1985. Yes, back before you could get the lyrics with every album purchase. I did it the old fashioned way. Tape recorder, pause button, pen and paper. Line by line.
But next to the lyric binder there was another binder. A binder I thought had been inadvertently disposed of during an episode of nesting. But no, this was my Holy Grail. At least as much as someone looking to launch (or re-launch) a writing career can have a Holy Grail. This blue binder is from the creative writing class I took in community college. Not only does it have everything I wrote in that class, it has many short stories, poems, movie outlines and tv scripts that I wrote throughout my teenage years, as well as a few very enlightening "notes to self".
I could have cried with joy at finding this material. I've been pouring through it page by page. What an awesome young person I was ;) There are movie posters that I drew for movies I was going to star in with Kirk Cameron. There are listings for who I was competing against for the Emmy award. There are poems about love that will never be, and poems that questioned the love I was in.
My favorite piece in the Holy Grail is a poem I had completely forgotten. One that I wrote as I embarked on a big change in my life. It could really apply to many situations in life, but it's probably obvious what it's about. The odd part is that it could apply to many things in my life right now just as well as it did in 1992. I'm just trying to figure out if that's a good sign or a bad one. It has no title but I want to share it with you. I hope you enjoy it.
Eyes of Blue
Eyes of Green
Me? I'm sitting
somewhere between
One for comfort
One for change
Once I felt with my heart
now I feel strange
Or is there no feeling?
No feeling at all?
When I am hurting
which one do I call?
Is isolation the answer?
It's lonely behind a wall
But alone I will be safe
and less likely to fall
Now I remain neutral
Trying not to pursuade either way
Will I lose both comfort and change?
Will I lose my sanity along the way?
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Eight Weeks of Me
I have had an "ah-ha" moment. Yes, one of those moments that Oprah talks about.
Thanks to this blog and a handwritten (gasp!) journal I keep, I think I am 3/4 of the way to accomplishing something I have been dreaming about for quite awhile. Now I just need to clean it up and find someone high up on the food chain who thinks it's as awesome as I do.
Stay tuned...
Thanks to this blog and a handwritten (gasp!) journal I keep, I think I am 3/4 of the way to accomplishing something I have been dreaming about for quite awhile. Now I just need to clean it up and find someone high up on the food chain who thinks it's as awesome as I do.
Stay tuned...
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
The Joy of Shuffle 2009 Edition
Happy New Year! I hope everyone is having a kick ass 2009 so far. I wouldn't call mine kick ass, but it's been noteworthy that's for sure.
It's been awhile since we played iPod shuffle. I now have 4736 songs on the old girl, and she's still kickin', although I have to admit a new iPod Touch would be nice. (Hint, hint, to my husband, who never reads my blog anyway.) That's ok, I'll buy my own :)
This edition is going to showcase the top 10 most-played songs on my iPod. Which is just hilarious because most of the songs rank this high because of my children and their need to play songs over, and over, and over. Here they are, let me have it.
1. Somebody's Watching Me ~ Rockwell
A few years ago I made a Halloween play list on our iPod and iTunes recommended this song. My girls fell in love with it and Jayden could sing this before she could sing her ABC's. It was so cute she would sing "I always feel like somebodeeeees watching meeeeeeee!" The play count stands at 70. Thirty more than the track at #2.
2. Bomshel Stop ~ Bomshel
It is funny to hear your daughter sing "Hey ya'll seriously, the barn really is on fire!" They loved this song, but now, not so much. You'd think it would drop in rank soon, geesh!
3. What Hurts the Most ~ Rascal Flatts
This song is equally loved by all the girls in our house. Of course it started with me, and once the little ones realized I would play it for them in the car, over and over, it became their favorite too. Ryann is SO serious when she sings this song "What huuuuuurts the most, was being soooooo close and having so much to say and watching you walk away."
4. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas ~ Gayla Peevey
Just kill me now. Many years ago I purchased his lovely Christmas song on iTunes at the request of my offspring. But in our house, it's not just a Christmas song, it's an all year song, and it sucks!!!!
5. Shake a Tail Feather ~ The Cheetah Girls
God Bless Chicken Little, because that fine film is the reason my girls love this song. And this song is the fifth reason that none of my favorite songs rank any higher. Damn kids.
6. Glitter in the Air ~ Pink
FINALLY!!!!! I love Pink, and her newest album Funhouse with all it's angst-ridden, pissed off lyrics, and some more touching ones have gotten me through a multitude of processes these last few months. This song is phenomenal to me. One of my favorite lines is "Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don´t care?" Yes, I have, and then I went and quit my job.
7. Crystal Ball ~ Pink
Wow, look at that. Another Pink song from Funhouse. From start to finish this is my song. The opening just haunts me "Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this. I just need a compass and a willing accomplice. All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again. Up and down and round again, down and up and round again." God, I love this whole album. But it came out at the perfect time for me, and the ranking of these two songs prove how much I love it.
8. Far Away ~ Nickelback
My little guilty pleasure :)
9. How to Save a Life ~ The Fray
Damn Grey's Anatomy. The second season previews for my then favorite TV show were cut to this track by The Fray and I loved it instantly. Oddly, even though it played constantly on TV and the radio I have never tired of it. "Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night. Had I known how to save a life." The lyrics are odd to me and don't really apply to anything, but I love it.
10. Celebration ~ Kool & the Gang
OK, my time on this list has come to an end. This one goes to the girls and their Daddy. He introduced the munchkins to this while dancing in the living room and they love it still. "Celebration times, come on" at least that's how they sing it in this house.
It's been awhile since we played iPod shuffle. I now have 4736 songs on the old girl, and she's still kickin', although I have to admit a new iPod Touch would be nice. (Hint, hint, to my husband, who never reads my blog anyway.) That's ok, I'll buy my own :)
This edition is going to showcase the top 10 most-played songs on my iPod. Which is just hilarious because most of the songs rank this high because of my children and their need to play songs over, and over, and over. Here they are, let me have it.
1. Somebody's Watching Me ~ Rockwell
A few years ago I made a Halloween play list on our iPod and iTunes recommended this song. My girls fell in love with it and Jayden could sing this before she could sing her ABC's. It was so cute she would sing "I always feel like somebodeeeees watching meeeeeeee!" The play count stands at 70. Thirty more than the track at #2.
2. Bomshel Stop ~ Bomshel
It is funny to hear your daughter sing "Hey ya'll seriously, the barn really is on fire!" They loved this song, but now, not so much. You'd think it would drop in rank soon, geesh!
3. What Hurts the Most ~ Rascal Flatts
This song is equally loved by all the girls in our house. Of course it started with me, and once the little ones realized I would play it for them in the car, over and over, it became their favorite too. Ryann is SO serious when she sings this song "What huuuuuurts the most, was being soooooo close and having so much to say and watching you walk away."
4. I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas ~ Gayla Peevey
Just kill me now. Many years ago I purchased his lovely Christmas song on iTunes at the request of my offspring. But in our house, it's not just a Christmas song, it's an all year song, and it sucks!!!!
5. Shake a Tail Feather ~ The Cheetah Girls
God Bless Chicken Little, because that fine film is the reason my girls love this song. And this song is the fifth reason that none of my favorite songs rank any higher. Damn kids.
6. Glitter in the Air ~ Pink
FINALLY!!!!! I love Pink, and her newest album Funhouse with all it's angst-ridden, pissed off lyrics, and some more touching ones have gotten me through a multitude of processes these last few months. This song is phenomenal to me. One of my favorite lines is "Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don´t care?" Yes, I have, and then I went and quit my job.
7. Crystal Ball ~ Pink
Wow, look at that. Another Pink song from Funhouse. From start to finish this is my song. The opening just haunts me "Drinking wine and thinking bliss, is on the other side of this. I just need a compass and a willing accomplice. All my doubts that fill my head are skidding up and down again. Up and down and round again, down and up and round again." God, I love this whole album. But it came out at the perfect time for me, and the ranking of these two songs prove how much I love it.
8. Far Away ~ Nickelback
My little guilty pleasure :)
9. How to Save a Life ~ The Fray
Damn Grey's Anatomy. The second season previews for my then favorite TV show were cut to this track by The Fray and I loved it instantly. Oddly, even though it played constantly on TV and the radio I have never tired of it. "Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night. Had I known how to save a life." The lyrics are odd to me and don't really apply to anything, but I love it.
10. Celebration ~ Kool & the Gang
OK, my time on this list has come to an end. This one goes to the girls and their Daddy. He introduced the munchkins to this while dancing in the living room and they love it still. "Celebration times, come on" at least that's how they sing it in this house.
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